Previously, I talked about some of the first steps I did to learning how to stay married with my wife. I tried things like counselling and quickly realized that they were there for the money. Failing and unhappy marriages falls prey to marriage counselling service (who gets paid a handsome amount of money).

Obviously, I stopped going to counselling and resorted to other methods but they all didn’t work. Knowing what doesn’t work was just as important because doing the kind of things that didn’t work would only make my marriage worse.

I mentioned that both parties need to be ready for honest discussion (which we didn’t). You need to do whatever you can to make yourself happy. This is crucial, and you have to make sure your partner knows that you value and encourage his/her own happiness as well. Falling out of love usually means someone lost track of how to experience the things that make them happy. It could be either themselves or their partner. At least that’s what I think.

Those were times that I would not want to repeat and think of anymore, but I can honestly say that I am happy that we’re in a solid relationship now. Having honest discussions with each other is a real gift to me and I couldn’t have done it without Amy Waterman’s course.

I’m lucky that after resorting to so many methods, I’m blessed with a truly great resource which guided me on how to stay happily married.

To help those who are learning how to stay married, I have listed out key points which I realized after going through Waterman’s book. I hope this helps understand what you should not be doing when learning how to stay married.

Begging

This is one of my biggest mistake as I thought begging Julie to rekindle our marriage was the best and quickest solution. I figured it wrongly. It only made our marriage worse.

Indepth discussions (too soon)

Another big mistake in my part, I wrote lists of what I felt was wrong with both of us and pushed her to do the same. Both of us weren’t ready for an honest discussion and it made things worse. We started ignoring each other.

Help from friends, relatives and happy couples

You must tread lightly on this one. I sought my relatives and friends who were experienced in marriage and soon it became widely known to everyone. It was embarrassing for Julie and myself. Even though some advice were helpful, many weren’t. At one point, they even advised me to file for divorce! Little to my knowledge, our marriage turned from bad to worse.

Marriage counselling

I mentioned that I even resorted to counselling. I saw a marriage counselor but it didn’t work very well. After several sessions, Julie refused to attend counselling with me. I’m not sure why (I know now after having read Saving My Marriage Today) but the Fees for counselling was expensive enough to avoid.

These are a few key points which didn’t work for me. I know taking action is better than doing nothing but you have to take the Right Action. I was fully aware that if I didn’t learn how to stay married with Julie, my marriage with her would be over very soon.

Amy’s Save Your Marriage book was very helpful to me as I could see our relationship sliding down to the dangerous side. She was extremely helpful in helping me avoid pitfalls and common mistakes that can kill a marriage or even start a divorce. There are checklists, exercises, and examples, to ensure that you can stay on top of yourself and your relationship.

Click here to find out more about the book that helped me learn how to stay happily married!

Learning How To Stay Married is a post from: How To Stay Married Forever

Related posts:

1. How To Stay Married – Introduction

I struggled a lot in my marriage with my wife Julie, and many times I was left figuring out how to stay married together. As time went by, we weren’t the cute couple anymore as I had more responsibilities as the head of the family.

The marriage didn’t go very smooth as we argued over small things almost every day. We fought over minor issues and over time, we started to feel irritated at each other. I didn’t want that to happen but somehow we got tired of each other. At one point, we started avoiding each other stopped communicating.

It reached up to the point where she decided to sleep in separate rooms. We had a spare room as we had planned to have a children, so she slept in that room for almost many months. All I could think of was divorce and it was the best possible solution for both of us. Julie is a smart, educated, but stubborn woman.. and I still loved her very much.

What made if more difficult for me was that I was the only one trying to save our marriage. Julie didn’t try patching things up together because of her personality. She was either ignorant, in denial or just didn’t really care about our marriage.

I went for counseling alone and talked to my friends who were happy in their marriages and listened to their advice. One friend told me that I should open up more to her so I moved onto talking in depth about where things went wrong so this does not happen again.

It didn’t work at all and made things worse between the both of us. She had been comfortable with her life and didn’t thought much on how to stay happily married with me. As we talked and discussed more with each other over problems with our marriage, the more we blamed each other over everything.

Little to my knowledge, this was the Biggest Block to staying married with Julie as I’ve never actually started to look at the whole situation in another way.

I learnt from Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage book which I bought online. I realized that talking to each other was absolutely important BUT not until you’re firmly on solid ground again. (You must make sure that you are ready for this discussion). Julie wasn’t ready and she was being too defensive for the whole honest discussion thing.

Fortunately, we are happy now and our unhappy marriage is a thing of the past. Read my next post to find out more about how I did it!.

How To Stay Married – Introduction is a post from: How To Stay Married Forever

Related posts:

1. Learning How To Stay Married