Previously, I talked about some of the first steps I did to learning how to stay married with my wife. I tried things like counselling and quickly realized that they were there for the money. Failing and unhappy marriages falls prey to marriage counselling service (who gets paid a handsome amount of money).
Obviously, I stopped going to counselling and resorted to other methods but they all didn’t work. Knowing what doesn’t work was just as important because doing the kind of things that didn’t work would only make my marriage worse.
I mentioned that both parties need to be ready for honest discussion (which we didn’t). You need to do whatever you can to make yourself happy. This is crucial, and you have to make sure your partner knows that you value and encourage his/her own happiness as well. Falling out of love usually means someone lost track of how to experience the things that make them happy. It could be either themselves or their partner. At least that’s what I think.
Those were times that I would not want to repeat and think of anymore, but I can honestly say that I am happy that we’re in a solid relationship now. Having honest discussions with each other is a real gift to me and I couldn’t have done it without Amy Waterman’s course.
I’m lucky that after resorting to so many methods, I’m blessed with a truly great resource which guided me on how to stay happily married.
To help those who are learning how to stay married, I have listed out key points which I realized after going through Waterman’s book. I hope this helps understand what you should not be doing when learning how to stay married.
Begging
This is one of my biggest mistake as I thought begging Julie to rekindle our marriage was the best and quickest solution. I figured it wrongly. It only made our marriage worse.
Indepth discussions (too soon)
Another big mistake in my part, I wrote lists of what I felt was wrong with both of us and pushed her to do the same. Both of us weren’t ready for an honest discussion and it made things worse. We started ignoring each other.
Help from friends, relatives and happy couples
You must tread lightly on this one. I sought my relatives and friends who were experienced in marriage and soon it became widely known to everyone. It was embarrassing for Julie and myself. Even though some advice were helpful, many weren’t. At one point, they even advised me to file for divorce! Little to my knowledge, our marriage turned from bad to worse.
Marriage counselling
I mentioned that I even resorted to counselling. I saw a marriage counselor but it didn’t work very well. After several sessions, Julie refused to attend counselling with me. I’m not sure why (I know now after having read Saving My Marriage Today) but the Fees for counselling was expensive enough to avoid.
These are a few key points which didn’t work for me. I know taking action is better than doing nothing but you have to take the Right Action. I was fully aware that if I didn’t learn how to stay married with Julie, my marriage with her would be over very soon.
Amy’s Save Your Marriage book was very helpful to me as I could see our relationship sliding down to the dangerous side. She was extremely helpful in helping me avoid pitfalls and common mistakes that can kill a marriage or even start a divorce. There are checklists, exercises, and examples, to ensure that you can stay on top of yourself and your relationship.
Click here to find out more about the book that helped me learn how to stay happily married!
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